I Am Job & Feeling Completely Fucked Some Days.

There comes a point where my faith isn’t shiny anymore.

It’s not even faith really.

It’s just blind stubbornness mixed with stupidity and pure survival.

My balls have been kicked so hard and so many times that I’m not even sure if I still believe in anything. You’re exhausted. You’re angry. You’re broke. You’re in pain. You’ve been let down so often by your Payers, Trust and HOPE that “hope” feels like a dirty word.

And yet… I keep going.

That’s where I am right now.

That’s where a lot of you are right now.

This is secondhand faith.

I didn’t create it. I inherited it from a man named Job. He sat in ashes scraping his wounds with broken pottery while people told him to just curse God and die. He screamed at God. He raged. He questioned everything, everything I do. And still… he kept breathing.

So when I wake up and I have nothing — accept for fuck just another day of yesterdays shit — I borrow a bit of second hand faith again from him.

I tell myself:

“If that man could go through worse than this and still come out the other side… then maybe I can too.”

Whether you own your own business, work on commission only, consult, or you’re just an employee trying to build a track record — it all feels the same when you’re at the bottom.

You’re not building success yet.

You’re just trying not to die.

You’re showing up even when you feel stupid for still believing something better is possible. You’re doing the work even when it feels pointless. You’re adding one small brick at a time to a CV, to a business, to a life that keeps trying to break you.

That is secondhand faith.

It’s not pretty.

It’s not inspiring.

It’s just honest.

It says: “I’m too fucked to create new belief right now… so I’m going to borrow from the one who already proved it can be done.”

My name is Job and I’m Still Building and Learning.

If I Am Job has brought any support or at least some laughter to you today, please consider buying me a coffee at: paypal.me/VanDerMerwe7″

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