When Heaven Went Silent

There is something I have been too afraid to say out loud.

For years I prayed (25 Year’s Now).

Not for luxury.
Not for mansions.
Not for fame.

I prayed for justice.

Justice for my parents.

Justice for what was taken from us.

Justice for years of work that disappeared into the hands of dishonest people.

Justice for every promise that never arrived.

And Heaven remained silent.

People tell me, “God is good.”

I don’t argue with them anymore.

I simply wonder why I have struggled so hard to find that goodness in my own life.

There were days when I had no money.

Days when I had no answers.

Days when I felt completely alone.

I kept praying because I didn’t know what else to do.

Sometimes I believed.

Sometimes I borrowed Job’s faith because I couldn’t find my own.

Sometimes I simply survived.

For a long time I thought God had abandoned me.

Maybe He had.

Maybe He hadn’t.

I honestly don’t know anymore.

But something unexpected happened.

While I was waiting for justice, I began discovering truth.

Truth about people.

Truth about greed.

Truth about manipulation.

Truth about myself.

And the more truth I found, the more I realised something.

The greatest thing that had ever been stolen from me wasn’t only money, a wife and child to be or my career at 27.

It was knowledge.

Knowledge restores power.

Truth restores freedom.

Perhaps that is where my rebuilding begins.

I still don’t have all the answers.

I still don’t understand why my road has been so difficult.

I still hope that justice will one day arrive.

But today I no longer measure God’s presence only by whether my prayers are answered.

I measure it by whether suffering has made me wiser instead of bitter.

My name is Job.

I am still asking difficult questions.

I am still searching.

And I am still building.