Even When Life Is Shit, There Is Still Beauty
You had fun because you were fun.
You felt loved because you loved and vibrated love and joy.
It was beautiful because you weren’t distracted by unhappiness and therefore saw it.
Even now.
Even when the money disappears before it can breathe.
Even when the landlord spies and plays stupid games because he is hard up for more money.
Even when your mouth is throbbing with pain.
Even when job applications feels like it’s taking forever.
Even when you wake up to scared to drive into town.
Even when you eat donkey pasta and laugh in the dark because you had one of two choices, either food & no electricity or electricity & no food.
There is still beauty and even a good giggle in a crapp decision.
Not because the circumstances are beautiful — they’re mostly shit right now.
But because I am still me.
I can still find something to laugh at.
I can still love hard.
I can still dream about beautiful things and dogs and a better life.
I can still write at 2 AM..
I can still feel hope after a dream where my dead family came to hug me.
The pot is still boiling.
The fire is still burning.
But something inside me has changed.
I don’t need perfect conditions to feel alive anymore.
I don’t need everything to be okay before I can see beauty.
I carry it with me now.
Everything I need is already within me.
My name is Job.
Life is still heavy most days.
But I am still fun.
I am still love.
I am still able to see beauty — even in the middle of the mess.
Still Building.
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