A Dream in the Middle of the Boiling Pot<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I woke up this morning irritated as hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything feels slow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Everything feels heavy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The same old crap keeps boiling around me and I\u2019m gatvol. I just want to get going, man. I want movement. I want something to finally break open forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I woke up from a dream this morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was in a house that I never lived in but the street name is the same as what I grew up on thousands of km’s away from where I am today. In the kitchen opening a new toothbrush. My mother walked in \u2014 the one who died five years ago \u2014 looked at my new tooth brush and said something of now my toothache will go away and quietly switched on the kettle for coffee. Then my brother, gone 25 years, came up the stairs as I was going down and greeted me. And as I walked down the passage, my dad that died 6 years ago came out of the bedroom, hugged me, and said he was going to miss me and turned away to do something at the table behind him without moving away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was peaceful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was warm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It felt like love from the other side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I woke up with that soft feeling still in my chest\u2026 but the irritation came rushing right back. Because the outside world hasn\u2019t changed. The waiting is still here. The pressure is still here. The slow, grinding reality is still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is my Job season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You get a moment of comfort \u2014 a dream, a small sign, a little money for the dentist after weeks of walking with pain\u2014 and then reality slaps you again. The pot keeps boiling. The irritation stays. The desire to finally move forward burns in you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know what the dream meant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe it was just my soul giving me a little tenderness in the middle of the fire accompanied with this darn toothach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe it was my family saying they see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe it was a reminder that I\u2019m not completely alone in this long, sore season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All I know is I\u2019m still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still irritated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still carrying this heavy, quiet pressure every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I\u2019m still breathing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still writing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still refusing to stay broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My name is Job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some mornings the dream is beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some mornings the irritation is louder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Both are true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still Building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even when building feels slow, sore, and irritating as hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
paypal.me\/VanDerMerwe7<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Dream in the Middle of the Boiling Pot I woke up this morning irritated as hell. Everything feels slow. Everything feels heavy. The same old crap keeps boiling around me and I\u2019m gatvol. I just want to get going, man. I want movement. I want something to finally break open forward. But I woke […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-98","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n